Prepare for the Worst, Part 2

At times, a potential difficulty does not look or sound like much of a threat, especially if no obstacle in that particular genre has been encountered or faced down before. But if and when a poisonous issue strikes, it can take over the entire universe for a while, and impede progress in sneaky and frankly ugly ways. In the sometimes precarious equilibrium of the family, this type of problem is never welcome; and to put up with it for even one day can feel far too long.
Here is the situation. Your daughter or son is overweight, or appears to be leaning in that direction. If and when this kid’s condition starts inspiring you to listen to a podcast about childhood obesity, or to schedule the yearly physical a couple of months early, you are in a good position to stock up on information. What can you do or say to meet the possibility of resistance from some unexpected quarter, and to minimize any threat to your child’s physical and psychological well-being?
Well, plenty, actually. This is why parents follow Childhood Obesity News, use resources like Brainweighve, and harvest random factoids that might come in handy someday. They (you, we) are to be congratulated for that diligence. The family ship makes a course correction and adjusts the sails, the mental, emotional, and physical parameters, to accommodate the new reality.
But — with a project like this, it often turns out that not all possible variables can be accounted for or addressed. For instance, in a clan situation, who wants to believe that some relative is out there feeling the urge to negate the efforts you make toward preventing your child from joining the ranks of a disrespected and ridiculed part of the general population?
Who and why?
The misguided individual might be an older relation who struggles with weight issues and who, consciously or not, follows the “misery loves company” philosophy. Maybe that cousin does not want to be the only obese person in the family circle, and he might even try to undermine your efforts to help the young child avoid obesity. Or it could be an aunt who believes that a teenager can be protected from sexual experimentation by a layer of subcutaneous fat.
If divorce is part of the history, there might be an unavoidable step-parent who is a bad influence or a worse example. This person might be simply careless, or actively desirous of causing trouble. Or, it might be a teacher who is all smiles and enlightenment on visiting day, but who believes that teens should be studying instead of dating; who secretly hopes to let them all share the misery she experienced during adolescence. It could be a family friend whose own kid isn’t very popular, and who feels a twisted need to level the playing field.
If your troubled child is in the teen years, it is possible that someone in his or her friend circle is a real nutcase who gets their kicks from manipulating people and situations in non-obvious ways and for unwholesome reasons.
The bottom line
The ground-level fact of the matter is, not all contingencies can be accounted for or handled.
Like it or not, plenty of folks harbor hostile feelings toward selected groups of their fellow humans. A disturbed individual may simply hate overweight people, or may feel even more animosity toward overweight people with caring parents.
There is no magic advice-wand to wave that can get rid of a lousy influence. For the parent of a growing child, one of the most frustrating problems is the inability to protect that kid from sabotage by a poisonous individual.
Somebody out there with a bad attitude might be hurting your child. If this is the case, maybe you can do something about it; maybe you can’t. But there is a catch. To interfere, or even acknowledge that a conflict exists, might only worsen the situation. For the target, the reason is largely irrelevant. What matters is the damage done.
Still, awareness is half the battle. If your child is dealing with obesity, either now or potentially, parental ignorance will not help. But — even the most healthily transparent child might be unwilling or unready to share some things, and there is nothing wrong with that.
To play detective might serve no purpose. The troublemaker is not interested in improving their character. Some folks are willing and even eager to hurt others for hundreds of misguided reasons, and sometimes they don’t even realize it themselves. It may even be that nothing can be done about this individual. We may have to face the fact that an ongoing situation can’t be avoided.
This message is not just for the custodial parent of a sensitive child, or one who has enough problems already. No, it is for any nearby grownup who might face the pain of knowing that a perfectly nice child is being attacked by some demons right now, or in all likelihood will soon be a target. While you may not be able to stop the pain, there is probably something good you can do.
Your responses and feedback are welcome!
Image by Sunriseforever/Pixabay









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