Chasing Stigma Through the Ages, Part 4

Author Erving Goffman has more to tell us about the inner lives of people who carry around too many pounds. Since one of these people could be a beloved child of yours or mine, it just might be useful to check out Goffman’s insights about this matter, especially the parts that involve interactions with strangers.
In recent years, out there in the world, a lot of attention has been focused on one particular way in which a child can be damaged. Sadly, that is not the only possible way. Although less immediately traumatic (and less punishable by law) than inappropriate contact, the focusing of negative attention on a child’s weight can cause significant harm.
A random stranger can do damage in a minute that will reverberate for years, causing emotional pain and influencing behavior. For instance,
The stigmatized individual can also attempt to correct his condition indirectly by devoting much private effort to the mastery of areas of activity ordinarily felt to be closed on incidental and physical grounds to one with his shortcoming.
A person who is unable to shed fat might adapt to it in a way that seems good-natured and healthy. As parallel examples, Goffman mentions a wheelchair basketball team, or “the blind person who becomes expert at skiing and mountain climbing.” There is nothing wrong with such an adaptation, except that in the case of a dangerously overweight person, it might only signify avoidance which, if it could be overcome, would illustrate that the same amount of energy, differently applied, could actually have solved the obesity problem instead.
Multiple possibilities
Whether the physical fact is a facial scar, hilariously prominent ears, or obesity, some very odd psychological effects may ensue:
The stigmatized individual is likely to use his stigma for “secondary gains,” as an excuse for ill success that has come his way for other reasons… It is the “hook” on which the patient has hung all inadequacies, all dissatisfactions, all procrastinations and all unpleasant duties of social life…
Just as effectively as a facial scar, morbid obesity can be used as an excuse to avoid competitive situations and other types of challenges. It can be manipulated into a reason to ignore normal social responsibilities, or provide a plausible excuse for the person’s refusal to become emotionally involved. If a miracle comes along, like a way to pay for bariatric surgery, a whole new landscape of problems might open up.
In ways either recognized or unacknowledged, the severe medical handicap might have functioned as a screen that always served to hide some other problems:
He is unprepared to cope with this situation without the support of a “handicap,” and he may turn to the less simple, but similar, protection of the behavior patterns of neurasthenia, hysterical conversion, hypochondriasis or the acute anxiety states.
Strange as it may seem, to undergo successful weight-loss surgery, and follow it up with all the right moves, may not be the end of the story. The transformation might not even last very long. Some folks feel anxiety and/or depression. Objectively, the body might be lookin’ good, but the sad truth is that’s a stranger in the mirror. And the world might be just as full of strangers as it ever was.
It works both ways
Friends who enjoyed the company of one of those jolly fat people with the legendary sense of humor might now be confronted with an unfamiliar human who is anxious, depressed, confused, and bummed out because now, s/he no longer even has the coping mechanism of eating food for comfort. The formerly overweight person might not have realized there would be so much loose skin. The miraculous weight-loser might feel like s/he went to a whole lot of trouble and expense just to wind up feeling more alienated than before.
If alcohol use was not a problem previously, it might be now, because the body absorbs substances differently. If the patient already had a lover or spouse, that partner might undergo unexpected emotional impact, and the whole relationship may have to be renegotiated. Children might feel uncomfortable with their greatly changed mom or dad. If the patient had been unattached, s/he might have expected to find someone quickly, and feel unjustly rejected. If suicide had never been “on the table” before, it might now look like a viable alternative.
What is going on here?
Why are we even bringing up such depressing scenarios?
As a way of reminding ourselves that going through life vulnerable to any sort of stigma can be a miserable existence. To remind ourselves that we certainly do not want to inflict any of this misery on our children, and that there are ways to avoid having obese children.
Not to be too obvious, but this is a good place for a reminder. If it seems that this sort of trouble might be brewing at home, it might be helpful to have a look at Brainweighve.
You’re welcome!
Source: “Stigma: Notes on the Management of Spoiled Identity,” WordPress.com, 1963
Images by Tumisu, trtasfiq/Pixabay









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